I have been plagued my whole life by seeing people and my heart breaking over their potential not being reached. There were amazing artists, musicians, teachers, potential spiritual leaders...all had one thing in common....they had no idea how great God had made them. They had all these talents that were given to them but they never used them for his glory. Some never used them at all. It always broke my heart.
That's what I realized this morning. We probably break God's heart more than just when we sin. We probably break his heart when he gives us gifts to use for him and to be our life, and we put them on the back burner. We don't want to put ourselves out of our comfort zone.
The things that God formed for us. Our voices. Our hands that can draw or paint or craft such amazing things. Our brains that are studious. Our hearts that are open to caring. We put them aside to chase money and the American Dream. We forget that God made us to chase his dream.
I felt really convicted. I am in school to be a pastor and a worship leader, but I was gifted with more than just those things. Yes I was born to do that and was called to be a student for this season, but I'm also called to live a creative life and to reach out for God and to listen to what he wants me to do daily.
So this November I am going to try harder to use the gifts God gave me and develop them. I am going to try to seek God more and put the American Dream aside for his dream. I am going to try to create at least one thing daily. I am going to try to love people more. To slow down and just breathe. To dream bigger dreams and start going after them with God's blessings.
This is my twenty first year of life, and I have so much more life to live. I can either live it screaming at the dark and being frustrated that no one is doing anything happy anymore and no one is reaching the lost and not many are making beautiful things, or I can turn on the light and realize that maybe why I am so frustrated is cuz only I can make the things that I am dreaming of seeing. Only I can do what God designed me to do. God knows me better than anyone, any friend, any family, or any man can ever know me because he formed me. He knows that what he created me to create will bring me joy, and that is what I am missing lately.
I'm sorry if this is rambling and this is naive to some, but this is my blog and it's my journal and if you don't like it then oh well (pretty sure my dad is the only one who reads this haha).
I just wanted to write today. And to challenge myself publicly, and hopefully challenge someone else as well to stop dreaming and start doing. Create November is starting.
Love and Peace,
Lexie
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