Laments

Do you love God enough to tell him how you feel for real

Lament- a passionate expression of grief or sorrow.

I have been dealing with a lot lately and have had to learn an important lesson. Lamenting to God is okay. Crying out to him and telling him how you really feel is totally okay. In fact. It's encouraged. 

David and the other psalmists lamented. Job lamented. Jesus. He lamented. 

So why do we feel like it's not okay? We act like we have to hide our real feelings from God and act like we should only give him our praise and keep the rest of ourselves to ourselves. 

I think it's because of the world we live in. I have a question: how many of you share your true feelings to the people around you? 

If your like me... Probably no. I have like 3 people maybe that I open up to. I've always been like that. Super selective to who I share my heart to. And sometimes i misjudge who is a good steward and I get burned. 

But. That's what I'm learning. God isn't a person. He won't burn me and turn his back on me.   He loves me and cherishes me. All of me. 

So I am now trying to find words to lament to God about how I feel. Telling him I am tired and frustrated. And then when I can't find the words, I just sit and trust that God knows what my tears and my feelings mean and that he is holding me. And that he has a plan that I cannot see. 

I'm trying to be okay with lamenting. But I also won't live there. I will lament. Then I will praise. I will cry. Then through tears I will smile knowing that God has a plan and a purpose and that he has never let me down before. 

David lamented. Job lamented. Moses lamented. Jesus lamented. So I will lament. 

But David praised. Job praised. Moses praises. Jesus praised. So I will praise. 

Life is a learning process, but the teacher is good and someday I plan to hear ,"well done my good and faithful servant." And have no more tears. No more pain. 

So I will continue this marathon that is full of little races and sprints. 

I will lament. I will praise. I will get through this season. God is good. 

-Lexie. 

It's a label thing.

I have been labeled different things all my life as all of us have. Short. Ginger. Too pretty. Too ugly.  Too skinny. Too fat. Too loud. Too quiet. Too bold. Too shy. 

Notice how these all seem to contradict each other? 

That's because it is just one person's opinion about you. About me. About everyone. We all formulate our own decisions on what we think of someone. I know I can tell if I will like someone in the first 5 minutes of a conversation.  At least I thought that. Then I realized that you cannot learn anything about anyone from five minutes. Stories and joys aren't heard in five minutes. Dreams and callings and passions are heard in five minutes. Five minutes is nothing. 

Girls are bad about this(I can't speak for guys so...). Girls do "the scan". They look each other up and down and instantly judge what they like, dislike and if they want to talk to that person in that scan. This is heartbreaking to me because as women we should not be judging other women who are in the world and probably fighting the same battles we do. And as christians, we should know to look at the heart. 

But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart. (1 Samuel 16:7 KJV)

Another thing that's just been on my heart is that people let the labels "introvert" and "extrovert" label themselves into chains sometimes. I hear so often "oh no! I couldn't go to that, I'm an introvert". Or "its okay that I'm loud and outgoing, I'm an extrovert" or "I just can't deal with any people today because I am an introvert" or the most shocking one I've heard this week, "I don't have time to have time with God because I'm just such an extrovert so I have a lot of social activities."  

To me, this just seems like another labeling process that happens to match our personalities. 

Why can't an introvert break out of their comfort zones(in their own way, I'm not saying we have to be a head cheerleader. There is a place for introverts in the body of Christ. Small groups are an amazing place) to get closer to where God wants them?  Why can't the extrovert use that social gift they have to reach people, but also have time all alone with God?  

Why not be introverts and extroverts and not use it as an excuse to settle for less than who we are made to be?  Why not just be Children of God who are not conforming to the ways of the world and just stand on the truth that God made us how we are and the labels he has for us aren't what the world uses?

The world says we are all imperfect, and that is true. But we are perfectly loved by a perfect God. The world says we are not good enough,  and that is also true.  But God is more than enough. The world says we are better off in our comfort zones. But God says that the best things come from Him and he doesn't stay in that comfort box. 

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. (Romans 12:2 KJV)

So I challenge you to push past labels and step into who you are made to be in Christ. 

He is worth it. 

-Lexie 

PS- Girls, stop scanning. Every girl is fighting a hard battle in this world. We need to stick together and lift each other up. 

Create November

I woke up early this morning before everything got crazy on this visit home and I had some great time with God. I realized that I have potential. We all have potential. But we rarely realize this potential. 

I have been plagued my whole life by seeing people and my heart breaking over their potential not being reached. There were amazing artists, musicians, teachers, potential spiritual leaders...all had one thing in common....they had no idea how great God had made them. They had all these talents that were given to them but they never used them for his glory. Some never used them at all. It always broke my heart. 

That's what I realized this morning.  We probably break God's heart more than just when we sin. We probably break his heart when he gives us gifts to use for him and to be our life, and we put them on the back burner. We don't want to put ourselves out of our comfort zone. 

The things that God formed for us. Our voices. Our hands that can draw or paint or craft such amazing things. Our brains that are studious. Our hearts that are open to caring.  We put them aside to chase money and the American Dream. We forget that God made us to chase his dream. 

I felt really convicted. I am in school to be a pastor and a worship leader, but I was gifted with more than just those things. Yes I was born to do that and was called to be a student for this season, but I'm also called to live a creative life and to reach out for God and to listen to what he wants me to do daily. 

So this November I am going to try harder to use the gifts God gave me and develop them. I am going to try to seek God more and put the American Dream aside for his dream. I am going to try to create at least one thing daily. I am going to try to love people more. To slow down and just breathe. To dream bigger dreams and start going after them with God's blessings. 

This is my twenty first year of life, and I have so much more life to live. I can either live it screaming at the dark and being frustrated that no one is doing anything happy anymore and no one is reaching the lost and not many are making beautiful things, or I can turn on the light and realize that maybe why I am so frustrated is cuz only I can make the things that I am dreaming of seeing. Only I can do what God designed me to do. God knows me better than anyone, any friend, any family, or any man can ever know me because he formed me. He knows that what he created me to create will bring me joy, and that is what I am missing lately. 

I'm sorry if this is rambling and this is naive to some, but this is my blog and it's my journal and if you don't like it then oh well (pretty sure my dad is the only one who reads this haha). 

I just wanted to write today. And to challenge myself publicly, and hopefully challenge someone else as well to stop dreaming and start doing. Create November is starting. 

Love and Peace,

Lexie