HAPPY SPRING :))

Messy Message

I am in no way perfect.
 I will never have a day where I do not want to wear leggings as pants.
 I will never have perfect AG hair(In fact my hair can look like a lion mane some days). 
I will probably never have straight A's on my own power. 
My voice will never be flawless and Broadway ready. 
  I will probably never be satisfied with good enough.
 I am a perfectionist, but I will never be perfect.  

My life is full of holes and pain and splotches.
 I desperately need the blood of Jesus every day. I will feel cheesy and awkward one second, and be on top of the world the second. But my mess of a life is full of God's message.

Everything that has happened in my life is to be a message for His Grace. His glory. His Love. 

You see, today in chapel the speaker told her story and it was a lot like my story in some ways.  Always needed to be perfect. Hard time forgiving myself. Shameful cloud over life.  Then she said something that shook me to the core...
"No matter what we walk through, it is a part of our story and He can use it for His glory."

She spoke on how God doesn't deal in the currency of shame. How guilt says, "I did something wrong." Shame says, " I am wrong."   She spoke on how we need to get rid of the toxic in order to make a difference. That really resonated with me, because that is my life goal: To make a difference.   
 She mentioned my favorite story in the bible.  It is found in John 8. It speaks of  woman who was caught in an act and was shamed by members of the church by being brought to Jesus:
John 8:1-118 

New International Version (NIV)

1 but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.

2 At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

11 “No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

This woman was caught in an act, but Jesus did not shame her. He got down with her and protected her and loved her.  He picked her up and changed her life. 

Unlike the members of the church that condemned her, Jesus loved her for the mess she was and saw the potential in her.  Shame says you have no potential. Jesus says Leave your life of sin and live out your potential.  

Restoration is a process and it does not happen over night, but God believes in you.  In me.  

God loves my hair the way it is, he made my voice and my love of worship and singing. He gave me the brain I have and knew I would struggle in classes and have to depend on Him for every single grade. 

Shame says I am not good enough.  That I am unlovable. That I am not talented. That I have messed up too much to be loved.  

Jesus says I am enough with Him. I am loved by Him. I am talented for His glory. And that nothing can separate me from His love. 

What is shame saying to you? What is Jesus saying? 

I encourage you to listen. 

You may be a mess, but He can use your mess for His message.  

Mountains again...

Do you ever have the feeling where you are doing so great and have everything figured out and then, with the blink of an eye, another big challenge pops up? You've just had all these other mountains moved and then "BAM!" another comes. You just got out of the valley and then slip back down. You start to walk on the water then someone hands you bricks.

Well that is what is going on with me right about now. I am in the midst of some really exciting mountains, some terrifying ones, and some exhausting ones.  I am just worn out. I am at the point where I can only pray and trust that what needs to happen will happen.  And what doesn't, won't.

I realized that for the past week I have been telling God all about my mountains. I have been so upset about some. So excited about others. So nervous. So scared. Heartbroken. Overjoyed.  Just a really mixed pool of emotions. I have been saying that I trust God but still holding on.

I woke up this morning really stressed and frustrated by the discomfort I have over these mountains and that is when God gave me a few words.

He never gives up on me.

He is the voice of truth

Come if you are weary and I will give you rest

You are mine. Just move forward.

And my life phrase, "Be still."

I realized that I need to not be telling God all about these mountains, but telling the mountains about God.
God is the lion of Judah. He is sovereign and faithful. He is all powerful. All authority in heaven and earth is His. If God is for us who can be against us?

So I am speaking the word of God and standing in the promise that God is faithful and will order my steps. It may not be an easy road,but it will be one that is worthwhile and full of purpose and His divine blessing.

What are your mountains? What are you fighting for in life and believing for ? I challenge you to tell the mountains who your God is and have the faith to trust that God will move it. He is a good God.

He replied, "Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."   Matthew 17:20