I try really hard to live in the present. I really do and as someone who battles anxiety that is hard for me, but God is able and helps me with this.
Most days I am so thankful and blessed with where I am right now and where God has me. I am exactly where I need to be when I need to be. That is beautiful. That is amazing.
That is also challenging. You see. I'm a wanderer. An adventurer. I was made to travel and experience new things, fight through them, and find God's truth in it.
I love a good adventure and with that I get to blessing to leave my heart in so many places.
But there are days that I miss those pieces.
Today is one of those days.
You see I miss a place currently today that has so many people that changed my life. Missouri. Springfield, Missouri.
Evangel University is a place that challenged me, hurt me, taught me, held me close, and changed my life forever.
I learned so much there, but the majority of it was now in the classroom. It was with people that taught me that community is stronger than stress and pressure.
I had people who prayed for me, laughed with me, cried with me, and did life together.
Those people are still my people. The ones I call or text when I need prayer. The ones who I long to visit soon. The ones who lead me closer to God by leading me closer to community, no matter the distance.
To those girls, thank you. You changed my life and are still changing my life. Every text, letter, call, or FaceTime... Even your Instagram posts. You make me smile.
So today I miss, not so much the place, but the people.
I miss my sisters. My family. The ones God put in my life.
There are days that being away from them makes me worry they don't remember me or care about me anymore, then I get a text. I get a letter. I get a picture of some bows I made for the floor in colors.
Today I miss those pieces of my heart and I'm praying over them. Praying God doesn't let the story end here as we start another year of school so many hours apart. Praying God blesses them for how much they have blessed me & praying that God shows them favor and Grace as they learn new things to help them change the world. For they definitely have changed mine.
Just thought I would share a piece of my heart today. None of this is to say I do not like where I am or what I am doing, because I do. I really really do. Instead this is saying that I'm learning it is okay to think back on all God has done and see that He had a plan, so I can remember that He is faithful and He is good. I can't wait to see what He will do with this beautiful season.
-Lexie
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
I Saw a Hawk Today...
This may seem like a weird title for anyone who does not know me very well. Like a random title for a random post about probably nothing important. But it isn't.
You see I have this thing about hawks.
When I was maybe 13 I was having a really hard season and I remember looking up at God(obviously up at the sky...) and saying, "If you see me, I need a sign because I just do not think you are there." And shortly after I had a hawk fly by.
It was probably just a coincidence. I mean I live in the middle of acres of woods. There are many hawk nests and many many birds.
But the timing was not what got me. It was the freedom of the bird that struck me.
This bird could fly wherever it wanted, whenever it wanted. It was perfectly created by God to fly above storms and to heights that I cannot. They open their wings and soar with God.
I wanted to be like that with God. I realized God had to be real because that bird was too beautiful to not be made with care by God.
How glorious is that? Being able to soar with God all day long?
Hawks are also fierce. They are warriors in the sky that fight for what they need and do not let go until they get it.
They are brave, diving in the sky to catch things without stopping and rethinking.
So that one day I saw a hawk and really saw it. Such a beautiful creation of God. A creation that I want to have some characteristics in life. Freedom. Brave. Courageous. Trusting of how God made it to be. Fierce. Able to soar to great heights with God.
This may seem totally weird and really random and my conclusion about hawks may seem totally dumb to you, but it is a big part of me.
If you drive in the car with me, you will likely hear "Oh look its a hawk!" and instantly see my frown turned upside down.
After that day they brought me joy and make me instantly notice the beautiful creation God made. In the midst of all seasons, God creates with care.
On the best days of my life I looked and noticed hawks, on the worst days of my life when I needed to know God cares for His creation, I saw hawks. I love them and I think God knows that.
One time I was so stressed about finals week and I knew I had 8 days left of classes until the semester was over. I saw 8 hawks that day. Probably just a coincidence, but 8 being the number of days left and the number of new beginnings. I was geeking out about it for days haha.
On my drive on the way to college. On drive home for the weekend or back to campus. On my first full day in Kenya, Africa. On the day I learned how to lament to God. On days when it was just a normal day and nothing really good or bad happened. I saw hawks. I saw God's care for all He creates.
Again, it may seem weird. It may seem like a bunch of coincidences. And I think it really could be that. But the fact that I see these birds of prey and notice how God made them perfectly and they bring me joy, that isn't a coincidence. You see I think we should notice small parts of creation, because then we would see more of God's love for us.
If we noticed the sun shining, or the rain that washes away all the dust in Summer as blessings we would live a lot differently.
If we noticed the deer running or the birds chirping, we would see how God meets their needs and meets ours so much more.
God's word says :Matthew 6:26 ESV
"Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? "
And also says Genesis 1:26 ESV
"Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”
You see, we are much more important to God than hawks.
I see hawks and they remind me that if God can make a bird fierce, and brave, courageous and have them trust Him fully, then what was I created for and why can I not be these things too?
God made us for so much more than going through the motions and not noticing Him daily. He made me to strive to soar with Him daily.
So when I see a hawk, that is what I am reminded of. That is why I smile.
Just wanted to share for those of you who always wondered.
-Lexie
You see I have this thing about hawks.
When I was maybe 13 I was having a really hard season and I remember looking up at God(obviously up at the sky...) and saying, "If you see me, I need a sign because I just do not think you are there." And shortly after I had a hawk fly by.
It was probably just a coincidence. I mean I live in the middle of acres of woods. There are many hawk nests and many many birds.
But the timing was not what got me. It was the freedom of the bird that struck me.
This bird could fly wherever it wanted, whenever it wanted. It was perfectly created by God to fly above storms and to heights that I cannot. They open their wings and soar with God.
I wanted to be like that with God. I realized God had to be real because that bird was too beautiful to not be made with care by God.
How glorious is that? Being able to soar with God all day long?
Hawks are also fierce. They are warriors in the sky that fight for what they need and do not let go until they get it.
They are brave, diving in the sky to catch things without stopping and rethinking.
So that one day I saw a hawk and really saw it. Such a beautiful creation of God. A creation that I want to have some characteristics in life. Freedom. Brave. Courageous. Trusting of how God made it to be. Fierce. Able to soar to great heights with God.
This may seem totally weird and really random and my conclusion about hawks may seem totally dumb to you, but it is a big part of me.
If you drive in the car with me, you will likely hear "Oh look its a hawk!" and instantly see my frown turned upside down.
After that day they brought me joy and make me instantly notice the beautiful creation God made. In the midst of all seasons, God creates with care.
On the best days of my life I looked and noticed hawks, on the worst days of my life when I needed to know God cares for His creation, I saw hawks. I love them and I think God knows that.
One time I was so stressed about finals week and I knew I had 8 days left of classes until the semester was over. I saw 8 hawks that day. Probably just a coincidence, but 8 being the number of days left and the number of new beginnings. I was geeking out about it for days haha.
On my drive on the way to college. On drive home for the weekend or back to campus. On my first full day in Kenya, Africa. On the day I learned how to lament to God. On days when it was just a normal day and nothing really good or bad happened. I saw hawks. I saw God's care for all He creates.
Again, it may seem weird. It may seem like a bunch of coincidences. And I think it really could be that. But the fact that I see these birds of prey and notice how God made them perfectly and they bring me joy, that isn't a coincidence. You see I think we should notice small parts of creation, because then we would see more of God's love for us.
If we noticed the sun shining, or the rain that washes away all the dust in Summer as blessings we would live a lot differently.
If we noticed the deer running or the birds chirping, we would see how God meets their needs and meets ours so much more.
God's word says :Matthew 6:26 ESV
"Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? "
And also says Genesis 1:26 ESV
"Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”
You see, we are much more important to God than hawks.
I see hawks and they remind me that if God can make a bird fierce, and brave, courageous and have them trust Him fully, then what was I created for and why can I not be these things too?
God made us for so much more than going through the motions and not noticing Him daily. He made me to strive to soar with Him daily.
So when I see a hawk, that is what I am reminded of. That is why I smile.
Just wanted to share for those of you who always wondered.
-Lexie
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