It started a while back with the comfort zone of my church. I had made leading worship and being a leader there into so much of my life, that I wasn't going anywhere else, I was so happy with what God was doing there. Why would I want to change anything with my life? . I was in community college taking core classes, I was leading worship with my favorite people, I was being a big sister to my youth babies. But then the acceptance letters came.
I had said before this to God that I would go where He sent me, and I applied to all the AG schools within a reasonable distance that had a worship program. I laid out a fleece to God that if He would get me into the schools, and into the music programs, and would show me which school by giving me crazy scholarships, then I would go there and trust Him..... Don't make that kind of fleece to God unless you mean it. Because I figured it would never happen and that I would just stay happy and never move forward because I would know that I was where God wanted me. But I knew in my heart of hearts that was not true.
By January God made it clear to me that I needed to step down from the worship team that I put my heart into for years to focus on school. It was the hardest time in my life up until then. If you have never been on a team that is a family, then I pray that you get that joy. It was my whole world to worship and minister with these wonderful beautiful men and women of God. Leaving was so hard. It still is so hard to think about, but God's plan is perfect.
I got a lot of scholarships by May and I had to decide between two great schools...Then the extra scholarships came. Evangel was it. Missouri. Complete opposite world from my little home in Georgia. I knew from the time that God called me into the ministry and from when I first heard about Evangel that it would be Springfield I would be going to. But I really had hoped I was wrong. I wanted the beach and I got a place where it snows. But after the joy, then shock and reality and then joy again, I was so happy. God had answered my prayer. He had shown me the path He wanted me to go. He is amazing.
Then another set back came about 2 months ago. I hear my mom scream at 9 in the morning. I think she is just yelling at my siblings or something, but no she wasn't. I run outside to see my father laying on the ground with the large tractor we have flipped over. He is moaning and everyone is screaming. My mom yells not to move and that she is going to call help. I hear my dad say that he couldn't move if He wanted to. The world stops as the ambulance sirens come and they lift my dad into the car and drive away.
I drive to the hospital and as I go there, I feel a weird mix of peace and fear. I hear"... the God of angel armies is always by my side..." and I feel peace. I feel like God speaks to some through the word, some through others, and some through music and the arts. I have always been the third. But then I get back into the loudness as I go to the hospital. I sit praying for God not to take my father away from me. I pray for healing and that he can walk. What would we do without him?
As I sit with my older brother in the lobby, I decide that If God does take my father away or that He is paralyzed, I will not go to school. How could I leave my mother in a month at a time like this? How could I leave my family. This made no sense. God gave me the scholarships and had answered my prayers. How could this happen?
Thankfully, God answers prayers and is so much better than we could ever hope. My dad got feeling back, He could walk. That very day that he was almost gone, he was back. There is no way that He should be able to, He was launched off the tractor and landed on his head. He just had two broken parts of his spine and a rotatory cuff that was torn. The doctors could not explain this. I can. God heard my cries. He healed my dad. He had a plan. He just had to show me that He was my comfort, not my family. He was my all in all and my heavenly father. I need to trust Him more.
As my dad recovered the following weeks, everything went wrong. We were under spiritual attack. My dad pulled me aside and said that he believes God wants me to go to school so strongly, that He healed him just so I would be able to go. My dad is not someone who says things like that to me. My mom is super Pentecostal and spiritual outwardly always. My dad is the business man side of spiritual, always quieter. I listen closely when He says things like this.
The weeks went by quickly, and I moved to Springfield. Being around people I don't know=Comfort zone broken. New friends when I have had the same friends for years=Comfort Zone broken. Leaving my family and pets=Comfort Zone broken. Having to live around a bunch of girls when I always was friends with more guys than girls=Comfort Zone Broken. Living with someone else=Comfort Zone broken (Thankfully my roommate is a huge blessing to my life, I am so thankful for her). Music classes that challenge my very confidence in what God called me to do=Comfort zone broken.
In all this change, I am scared and exhausted and just plain tuckered out. But God is in this. I found a church that I love. I walked in and I knew I was home. I felt the spirit. I met friends who pray over me and who make me smile and I can relate with. My once foreign room is now my safe place that I can relax. There is peace in this place
I still miss my old life, it would be easier to call it quits and go....But God is with me so closely here. I am still a work in progress. You never know that God is your strength and your all until that is the only option you have. God is with me. " In God, whose word I praise, In God I trust I will not be afraid" I am stepping out in faith. I have been. God is good. All the time. The God of angel armies is always by my side. I am loved, I am cherished. I am His.
I am still a work in progress, God's work in progress.
So I leave you for now with some joyful pictures. Smile today, whatever is going on in your life. Remember, you are a work in progress and every setback is a set up for God to show His awesome mighty power.
God bless,
Alexis Grace
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